The Loop Guide to Clubbing, Drinking, plus West Essex and East London living.

Right I’m going to start with a moan, I was a little disappointed by the lack of people that turned up for Jade Goody’s walk last Saturday. I can’t understand it, why couldn’t more people give an hour of their time, Just to show some support and perhaps raise a bit of money? In fact the more I write about this the more disgusted I feel, Jade has been our local treasure for god knows how long, all the bars, club’s, events and magazines round here that at some point have used Jade in a way that is beneficial to their business, where the hell were their reps? As a local Essex girl/boy no doubt you’ve had your opinion of Jade over the years and she has been your topic of conversation in some way and what’s the betting that a lot of you have had a conversation with her at some point or told someone you know her? She was always at Femme Fetal, constantly in the local bars and clubs ever since she came out of Big Brother so you can’t tell me that there were only 100 people in the area that knew her. I just can’t understand why they wouldn’t want to show their support?? What I am more fuming about are the people that kept driving past the supporters, just watching, staring, and looking to see who was there and who wasn’t. There were two girls in black SLK, up and down, slowing down and staring they drove past three times, laughing. I can’t wait to see them again and don’t worry I will get a picture and name and shame! Why not just stop, get out of daddy’s car and do something for someone else or failing that give a donation? Disgusting.
No doubt I’ve offended the ones that actually did feel shitty about not going I just wanted to explain that there seems to be two types of people that deal with situations like this and I was discussing this with Soph. The first are the people who make up excuses for not going, to themselves and others, ok so it’s an excuse and sometimes even a white lie but at least they’ve got a conscience and will probably spend a lot of time feeling bad about not going. Then you’ve got those who just don’t give a shit, they’re too wrapped up in their own sad case lives, with the ignorant attitude ‘if it doesn’t affect me then so what’ and trust me there is a lot of those about. Obviously if you didn’t know about the walk then this DOES NOT APPLY just in case you’re debating whether to send me an abusive email, listen that’s fine go ahead but I will just re-offend you with my sharp wit, either that or I will email back an apology in an attempt to make you like me again ha ha!

It’s strange, I used to be so bothered about being liked ask my friends… There was a time the girls and I were in 195. A girl we knew but Lucie didn’t like was making her way over, Lucie grabbed my arm and ‘don’t you dare say hello to her’, so listening and respecting on of my best friends feelings I ignored this girl when she said hello. Noticing I was off with her she then said ‘you look nice’ to which I replied ‘oh do I thanks’ – shallow and very fickle but at least she still liked me! Things like that used to happen all the time and if people didn’t like me I would make more of an effort to get them too, which used to annoy everyone including myself. I am so pleased that having got a bit older I am completely over it and it’s very liberating, I am thinking that the older I get the more things won’t bother me. Maybe that’s why old people are so lairy? I love them they just don’t care they’ve obviously got to a stage in their life where they think ‘f*ck it, I’m 80 as if I’m ever going to change and in fact I am going to get worse!’ If I’m lucky enough to reach 80 then I am going to play the ‘old’ card at every given opportunity, I may even get a stick whether I need one or not to hit people round the legs with and when I get questioned about why I clobbered the teenager outside the virtual tanning shop I am just going to grunt ‘what? I’m old’ and shuffle along my way. I love their audacity and it’s made me think, maybe it’s not a bus pass you get when you’re old, maybe that’s just a cover up for what you really get, the ‘give a shit’ pass (or GAS for short). The terms and conditions of your GAS pass state that you’re not allowed to do things like, change to suite anyone else, or even compromise and if you’re GAS registered you’re certainly not allowed to try and make people like you, doing that will result in your GAS pass being taken away and you will have to hand back your Micra, shopping trolley and subscription to ‘Yours’ magazine and return to normal life! Oh the shame, what will they say at the Legion, you won’t have to worry as GAS offenders are barred! Ok so that might sound a little bit far fetched but if it is the case then can I have a GAS pass now please?? I was very awkward in my 20’s and without sounding to much like ‘Dr Phil’ it took until about 25 for me to be ‘happy with myself’, that’s not to say mind you that sometimes certain people can still make me feel like a 20 year old and all those insecurities come flooding back, it’s not a feeling to be wished upon anyone (apart from maybe the idiots in the black SLK). It’s true though, you’re walking about all cocky and independent then out of nowhere you get a short, sharp knock back down to earth and before you know it you’re 18 again. It’s like when you get told off or had a go at and it’s totally your fault. Have you ever done a gym class and the teacher has singled you out because your leg’s too bent or you’re not squatting low enough? You try to do as she asks but then she comes over and she’s got that stupid microphone attached to her head ‘Vogue’ style, not only everyone in the studio can here but the whole bloody gym (but don’t you also love it when that happens to someone else ha ha). So It’s times like that when you’re back to being a child again and feeling all unsettled within yourself, I would love to know the secret as to how to get over that, maybe it is when you get to a ripe old age, maybe that’s why old people can’t be told, you can almost imagine them saying ‘I am not about to be told off be you sonny, no I am over that, if I am wrong I will change the world to make me right because I am sure as hell not going to change myself’ so maybe that’s it change your situation you’re in rather than yourself, choose or pick something or someone that will fit in with you rather than the other way round, why should you compromise? Failing that then just fight fire with fire, if that works then I am two steps ahead, I think I have had a row a day this week, which in my mum’s eyes is a good philosophy to live by; maybe she’s got a point! Did I just say my mother’s got a point…? Oh no here we go I am starting to morph already!

P.S Can I just thank Jerri Lee and others for organising the Jade walk. Jerri you truly are an angel and I hope you stay in my life forever, the world needs more like you. Love always.

P. P.S There’s two people I can’t stand at the moment firstly Jordan, she is so F*ckin self obsessed, she thinks everyone is so interested in her. I suppose with all the the excess surgery, the fixation on her own appearance combined with number of sexual partners people are bound to be intrigued as to how she got the title as the world’s most famous slut. Yea, I don’t like Jordan. Winehouse is the same, on drugs off drugs, married not married – who cares, she reminds me of a bearded lady.

P.P.P.S New Wenchies vid coming soon, could be the best one yet! Well done Wenchie at boot camp, very proud of you. 

P.P.P.P S Daniel Radmore is truly one of the funniest people I know (happy now Radders?)

P.P.P.P.P.S There is someone special that I love waking up with, is all I think about and makes me smile, but all will be revealed another time! xx