The Loop Guide to Clubbing, Drinking, plus West Essex and East London living.

So being 29 is undoubtedly the best year of my life and Sophie agrees. We had a Wenchie discussion the other day * and we’ve come up with a few reasons that I would like to mention. Firstly there’s the sense of inner peace ‘I am happy with who I am and if you don’t like it then tough’. Then there’s the independence and the realisation that we are all totally in control of our own lives and that we have the ability to move mountains, should we wish to do so. Then there’s the self confidence and embarrassment factor where the bar is so well raised that you can barley see it and I’ve heard it gets even higher as you get older. To elaborate on that last point, think back to when you were younger and not only did you suffer your own embarrassment but you could also get embarrassed at the hands of others whether it be your mum, dad or anyone slightly older for that matter who is usually related in some way, well that doesn’t happen when you’re 29 and it’s very liberating. Then (and this is my favourite) there’s the total belief that for the first time ever you have come to terms with the fact that you never know what’s around the corner (and trust me there is usually something). You don’t where you will be in 10 years time and you’ve finally relaxed into the idea that life is about the moment, The Now. Sure you have goals but the lead up to them is not an oversight anymore, instead you cherish the good times more and welcome the bad as something to learn from. So with all that in mind I conclude that 29 IS a good age and I have put all these factors into practice whilst on my husband search. I used to be one of those people in love with the idea of being in love and this got me nowhere as you end up settling. Sometimes when you want something so badly you don’t actually take the time to notice any indiscretions and you push all those niggling doubts to the back of your mind, which only come back and bite you on the arse and trust me I have been bitten more than once and it’s not always enjoyably ha ha. I used to think the task of finding my soul mate would be quite an easy one and that being on TV, writing for a living and working for myself would be what I would have to work at but having done all those things they seemed quite easy in comparison.
So lately I have been dating like it’s going out of fashion, it’s almost as if I am doing an experiment on the male species, testing and trying out all the kinds of people. Reading that back that actually makes me sound like a floozy but I didn’t say I had been sleeping with them all, in fact I couldn’t even bring myself to kiss a couple of them, so lets not go down that road! No, I have this weird notion that if I go out with enough I will be so clued up that I will quickly sum up their attributes after the 1st date and work out whether it’s even worth a second. Ok so I am not so shallow that I have one date, don’t like their shoes and never see them again, well not every time anyway ha ha. I do however, know that the minute they say things like ‘I don’t know what to do with my life’, or ‘my ex used to wear that perfume/do that/order that etc’ or things like ‘I might have the day off tomorrow, again’ or ‘I would move out but I have it to easy at home’ you know those types of things, then their off and they could look like Beckham it really wouldn’t matter, date 2 is not going to happen.
What men fail to realise is if they want an independent woman (and I am not saying they all do) but if they do, they need to be equally independent, have other interests and ambition themselves. They need to be honest about who they are instead of being the man they think you want them to be, is that so hard to ask for? This leads to my next massive requirement in a man and that’s honesty and lets face it if people can’t be truthful with themselves then how the hell are they going to be truthful with anyone else and you can only be truthful with yourself when you’ve actually figured out who you are, got all that? For me 29 was the milestone but I don’t think it has anything to do with age I think it’s to do with reaching a stage where you are happy with yourself. I want someone at the same point in their lives as me and long may that search continue!

Until next time, and I promise I won’t leave it so long! Lots of love and kisses from Miss Essex & The City (how cheesy is that)

P.S Ellie is moving to Dubai, we are one Wenchie down and I am NOT happy! Although she is so I suppose I could raise a smile.

P.P.S Loving Soph’s judging at the 195 factor, so pleased she is doing every week she is the funniest person EVER!

P.P.P.S Have you seen our Wenchies videos? What do you mean no, go on my face book, Wenchies 1, 2 & 3 sooo funny!

P.P.P.P.S Good luck this week Paulie x

* A Wenchie discussion is when all the Wenchies get together (the Wenchies being, me, Sophie, Lucie, Lowman & Ellie) we discuss dating, eating habits, 195, In Magazine, our next holidays etc. These have been taking place for about 4 years and will continue to do so.