The Loop Guide to Clubbing, Drinking, plus West Essex and East London living.

I have said it before but I will say it again, why is it that when people are in a relationship they insist on saying ‘We’ when talking about themselves, ‘we’ can’t make it, ‘we’ are sorry ‘we don’t often get the chance’… spoken by just one person! I think to myself why not just hold up a bit banner saying ‘Yes I have a boyfriend/girlfriend, I am with someone, I am not single I am part of a pair!’ For goodness sake at what point did you turn into the same person with only one mouthpiece!

As you may have gathered all that ‘we’ business is not for me, its lovely to have met your ‘soul mate’ and to really feel close to someone but retaining your independence is also vital for a healthy relationship and don’t give me all the ‘I go out with the girls all the time’ I bet you only do that only because he’s arranged to go out! That’s another thing, I can’t bear these girls that feel the need to (as Sophie and I put it) to stalk their own boyfriend or use their insecurities to play some sort of game, what’s that about? Their boyfriends go out and they have to match it by going somewhere better or they end up meeting up with them afterwards so what’s the point of going out separately in the first place! Plus if you’re both going out drinking of course you’re going to row when you meet up, he wants a night off and you want to p*ss him off it’s like, ‘How dare he want to spend one night apart from me!’ I have seen it so many times it’s so childish!

Anyway back to the ‘we’ thing I am not finished ranting about it! Now it’s more understandable if people have been together for 60 years but not two months its winds me up, badly! My Nan and granddad who have been together 65 years and they don’t refer to themselves as ‘we’ and still both do their own thing and I would say are massively independent so maybe that’s the secret!
I sometimes wonder if you’ve been with someone for so long, do you end up making a massive sort of break through, where you hearts connect and you don’t even have to speak to know what the other one is thinking. If that does exist then how long before that happens? And do you have to go through a lot to get there? I have always dreamed of reaching that stage but seem to give up at the first hurdle, as soon as things get a little bit tricky I run or I think about running for about a year and then do it! Does anyone else do that? I am sure they do, I can’t be that weird… Actually there’s a good chance!

With different relationships I’ve had in the past I often think to myself, well I could work at this but then I don’t think its worth it in the long run and I can’t be bothered. I wonder why this happens and more importantly how I am going to change it? This month I have been thinking a lot about it and this is what I came up with!
Firstly I thought, well maybe if you meet the right person then it’s easier to make things work, that might seem a little obvious, what I mean is, maybe you meet someone, you think they’re the right person, then things get tricky and you realise you can’t be bothered so they must be the wrong person?? I have just read that back and even I don’t get it! When I say the ‘right’ person I mean the one that is right for you rather than what the right person could transpire to be on paper. With me I have reached that phase many times (I am known to rush into things) I think the person I’m with is someone they’re not and then I spend the next few months criticising their every move because I am convinced they’re not right for me and need other reasons to back up but the fact that I will finish with them. In a sick kind of way when they do eventually f*ck up or let me down I think to myself ‘well I knew it’ and its almost feels comforting to be right a bit like better the devil you know or better the situation you’re used to.
Another theory I have for working at a relationship is the ability to commit and really put yourself on the line, how many times (an possibly more guys do this) do you argue with your partner or do something really wrong and in order for you not to split up you offer things like ‘I’ll act differently’ ‘I won’t go out as much’ etc etc.. In other words you are forced into commitment? You end up living like that until the next time you f*ck up! You end up acting a certain way in order to keep a person usually because of fear of being on your own or because just this time you hope you’ve found the person that it’s worth trying for?

So if it is commitment I’m scared of what then? I am a Gemini after all and anyone that has come into contact with the Gemini knows they want it all. Sometimes I daydream about being married and having two children, other times I dream of travelling round America on my own! Even I find myself hard to live with! I have often thought that when I get married it will be a case of ‘lets just do it before I change my mind’ that way once I’m married I will have to make it work because there is other reasons for it and it’s the same with children. So maybe that’s the answer? I can’t bring myself to do it though! When people say ‘you have to be ready’ I think well on a Monday I am ready but come Friday I am slagging off everyone that uses the word ‘we’ and dread ever getting to that stage! I am my own worst enemy I know but I honestly think that either I haven’t got the ability to commit or just keep thinking about taking that next step to much either that or I am just weird.. let’s face it; it could be any of them!

P.S I have booked to go to Thailand in May with Ellie, Sophie, Natalie, Dan, Zoe Lucy and hopefully Becks but she’s scared but then who can blame – it’s called Spa Samui and it’s a detox week. Colonic twice a day, meditation, yoga and massage, I can’t wait! Have a look if you http://www.spasamui.com. Plus I am dragging Ellie to Spain & hopefully Soph if I can coax her out of lighter life for a week! So lots of things to look forward to and lots of fun, now that is something I can commit too! I do wish that miss Lowman and Pav were coming though.. But there are going in 2 weeks, lucky things!

P.P.S whilst looking through Facebook lately there are lot of people my age and even a few years younger who are getting the faces they deserve. Ha Ha I love that!

P.P.P.S Lau, I hope by the time you read this that Teddy is here because he is taking ages!

P.P.P.P.S If you’re single this Valentines Day then get to speed dating at Bar 195! £20.00 per ticket, limited places available call 01992 572 195 for details!

P.P.P.P.P.S Look at Super Bobby (my house rabbit)