The Loop Guide to Clubbing, Drinking, plus West Essex and East London living.

So it’s a massive build up to Christmas and most of us are still of the age where we have to spend at least £300 on that special person in our lives for fear that they will spend any less on us! Its funny because there is nothing better than gloating as to what your man bought you even if you did choose it yourself, tried it on, put it buy in the shop for him to pick and even wore it before Christmas day – just to utter those words’ my Dan bought it for me… he’s such a sweetie’ fills us with glee.. and the look on your single mates face is always a picture.. that is until you realize they are actually spending Christmas AND New Year in Thailand and having big fat single fun (you know who you are) but anyway Christmas is a time for giving (give to receive I always say) and a time for letting bygones be bygones, time to stretch out that olive branch to those you have less helpful to before, time to speak only positive words of encouragement to those around you and most importantly time to actually send off those Christmas cards that you have written! Don’t you find you get all pro-active, write your cards but don’t get posted! Why do we always do that! I cringe when I see the unopened envelopes that I never sent, occasionally I have actually opened them before as well – just to see…

But not this year, this year I have decided to change my habit of a lifetime and actually send them, yep that’s right all grown up I am going to send the cards to peoples actual homes! But there is one thing I will not do, and that is send them from me & Dan, lots of love Dan and Liner! Sooo naff it makes me laugh you get the do card from someone that you haven’t spoken to in ages or someone from school and they put, from sue and bob – the point is you’ve never even met bob, who cares!

These are the same people that use the phrase ‘we’ all the time its so annoying… ‘We like a nice Chinese’ or ‘we prefer Bluewater’. So desperate to let people know they are with someone… Whatever happened to I, I, I, the only time I think ‘we’ is acceptable is when he does something good and I want a bit of the credit for it, ‘we have knocked down one of the walls in the flat to make it open plan’ hello the only part I played in that project was moaning about the mess and dust! So please can people refrain from that terminology when in my company…

I swear I have just realized something! I am turning into my mother! And for those of you who know her know what that means! I swear she is turning into a grumpy old man – me and my brother have re named her uncle Albert because she does not stop, when it was fireworks night the other day, she called me to moan ‘some idiot is letting off fire works, I can’t believe it, they’re scaring Lilly, (the cat) they have been off since 7.30pm till 10 I am sick of it’ but mum it’s fire works night ‘they should be banned’ ‘but mum you might have liked fire works when you were younger’’ ‘I didn’t not since a rocket set fire to my jumper and then that same year a fire work came through our open kitchen window and set fire to a box of fire works in the kitchen!’ ……….. Actually no wonder she hates them!

Anyway I bought another little dog this week from Battersea I am naughty! She is like a little Fox she is half chu wa wa gorgeous, I have called her Chilli, she is so cute I want to bite her, she gets on really well with Harry (although he did try and hump her causing his tinkle to pop out - eeuuww’ but more to the point she fits in my new brown suede bag! Although the first time she went in there she did wee! But she loves it now!

Essex In The City 1P.S I ventured up to 195 a couple of Thursday’s ago (the best night up there) and my friend and I Laura, were the only ones on the dance floor, and some girl came sliding over, (I am sure she had a wide loads sticker printed on the back of her arse.. and pushed into us).. With all my might and strength I pushed her back, spraining something in the process.. And her response..Essex In The City 2 I don’t think I can even bring myself to repeat it… ‘Don’t push me c**t I was mortified’.. I had to ask, in disbelief if anything ‘excuse me? What did you say?’ before she could answer her mate dragged (I say dragged but she actually got a firm in to tow her away) and that was that… please girls save that word for special, like when you’re talking about his new bird!

Essex In The City 2P.P.S I got my friend Emma a job at my work and she snogged the office hunk at our masked ball! Hello! It was her first day! Anyway attached is a picture of us in our masks.. I love it! Have a giggle with the photos below!!