The Loop Guide to Clubbing, Drinking, plus West Essex and East London living.

The sun has got his hat on hip hip hip hooray the sun has got his hat and he’s coming out to play? Who says that the sun is a he? Not that I am a feminist I’m really not, in fact I am pro man… I laughed the loudest when Borat went into the feminist group and said my wife always moans, ‘Borat I don’t want to plough the field, Borat I don’t want to live in a cupboard’ etc etc so lets get that straight! I am however a woman after all and I have to admit I have had the hump with men this week, so from now on the sun has got HER hat on ok! Saying that it is usually MEN that I have seen going flat cap crazy lately, I was in the Nu Bar recently and 3 blokes in the same group all had a flat cap on. Now unless they are a group of chimney sweeps that have just knocked off from the late shift I really don’t see the need, buy one and share it or if you have to get your own then don’t go out wearing them at the same time so you end up looking like extras from the orphanage scene in Oliver!

I started this month feeling let down by the opposite sex, partly due to frustration that there just doesn’t seem to be anyone out there for me and party due to the fact that whoever I seem to date ends up being a bit of a loser. I started to worry maybe I am enjoying being single too much and as the time ticks by I might never want to meet anyone! I never thought I would feel like that I have had a boyfriend since I was 15 and now I am thinking why did I waste all that time? Not that all my ex boyfriends weren’t lovely and I loved them all (well sort of) but now I was worrying that I didn’t want to be tied down and don’t know if I ever would, probably not a great way to think when you’re 4 months away from turning 28! This past month has felt like I was going back in time, watch you will see me dossing down Loughton station soon and smoking round the back of Roding Valley!

My mum (who seems to know everything and is always right) said, write a list of the qualities you want in someone and remember them when you meet someone they must have at least 5 of those qualities. To be honest I found it really hard to get passed ‘really good looking’ how shallow am I? This whole month of worry went on to inspire me to delve into the frequently asked topic. What do women really want? It seems to me that what women want at the beginning of a relationship is not something they want when it starts to get serious.

When you first meet someone you tend to feel positive and like everything about them, their jokes make you laugh, you like that fact that they enjoy football and have lots of friends and even the way they dance makes you feel like they are perfect… fast forward to four months down the line, the jokes are wearing thin all he does enjoy is football and the dancing now resembles someone who has got a itchy back they can’t reach! So what happens in those four months to make you see a totally different person to the one you first met? Well the first thing could be that you had your rose tinted glasses on, ‘he had that on on our last date but it doesn’t matter, he’s really funny’, ‘yes the story about him and his friends nailing a cats tail to a wall is a bit immature and slightly disturbing but it doesn’t matter because he’s really kind’ ‘oh I like the fact that he plays football every Saturday it gives me time to have lunch with the girls and if he wants to drink 50 pints after a game and then expect us to go out for dinner the same night, that’s fine too’ And why are we so easy going? The fact is we like having a boyfriend and when you meet someone and think this could be him you don’t want anything to spoil that illusion! We then introduce the reins and be prepared to get sore hands for continually tightening and steering over the next couple of years.

See women aren’t trying to mould their new love interest into something they are not, they are just trying to re-shape them back to how they originally were. This is a vain attempt to feel the same as they did when they first met them and got caught up in the whole ‘new relationship thing’. That’s why women are often labelled as controlling, its not really the fact they want to tell you what to do, wear or say all the time its more to do with the fact that their ‘new relationship is not going to plan. Actually reading that back its not entirely true some people are just really insecure and need to be with their bloke the whole time and ban them from going out or having any outside interests but they’re just crazy heads!

So are we all just in love with the idea of being in love? I would have said a definitely yes before I got with Dan and before I became single for the first time in my life. I was friends with Dan for a long time before we got together and its fair to say I think I knew him inside and out with that came a very successful relationship that although is over now, has never been regretted and the departing was put down to just ‘one of those things’. He never ever got on my nerves and I could spend more time with him than any other person I knew, sometimes we would stay in all week and weekend and not just slumped in front of the TV, we used to have fun, play silly games and just chat and laugh. Other times I wouldn’t see him all weekend because either he or I would be out with our friends, working or whatever. I think that it’s a case of meeting the right person and taking it slowly, I think you need to develop a foundation and not rush into things I know its sounds like that’s taking the fun out of everything but wouldn’t you much rather years of happiness than just a few weeks and then the rest of the time spent thinking of ways you can mould them into the person you first met, who lets face it would have had a lot more money, ambition and interesting facts about himself!

So back to my list (I will be leaving good looking on there) but there is only one other thing I am looking for in a man and that is he has to be ‘the right person for me’ and if that takes as long as it did with Dan and I then so be it! If you feel like me rather don’t think this is the wrong time in your life to meet someone it’s actually the right time because you don’t really want or need a boyfriend so you won’t just settle! See, it makes sense and on that note the sun can but HIS hat back on and not because MRS hat said so, unless it’s a flat cap then it’s a no no!

P.S Ellie sent me an alarming picture of a dead Squirrel that fell out of the tree while she was walking Baloo, she is not normal and that is why I love her!

P.P.S Louise and I went to a lovely restaurant in Sawbidgeworth called the Straw Hat it was sooo nice.

P.P.P.S Congratulations to Kerry on the birth of little baby Olivia! I can’t believe she is a mother it seems like only yesterday we were playing ‘IT’ with the bouncers in Sugar Reef! TEAM!

P.P.P.P.S Don’t forget Get Flash on the 29th at Faces the best night there and they are doing a photo shoot in the VIP area!