The Loop Guide to Clubbing, Drinking, plus West Essex and East London living.

This is the edited version of episode 15 of Essex and The City, the last one made me sound, how can I put it? Well very bitter! So with the feedback from the people that know and love me I have decided to put down my poison pen and re write this month’s piece. I got some good advice from my friend Natalie who has always been there (and hopefully always will) and I am going to once in my life listen! Ellie on the other hand LOVED my poison penned article and was laughing like Doctor Evil throughout!

I have just been looking through my previous Essex and The City’s and it’s made me realise how much I have changed this year! And if I am honest I don’t like it much. I used to have a bit more balls and be a bit more upfront but in a confident way and most of all more bloody fun!

So now I have taken a conscious effort to stop acting so serious and re introduce my inner child! I have been so busy lately it’s hard to believe that I find the time to throw myself about the drunken circuit of West Essex, but I do and I do it in a conscious bid to have a wicked time with my mates, minus having a boyfriend!

I have been with someone since I was 15, that’s 12 years and this is the longest time I have ever been on my own and I am loving it! So much so that I am now starting to worry that I might never make an effort to meet anyone! Instead, I will live on my own forever, be the Bridget Jones of a practically a married off group and settle with the fact that the only thing I will be in bed with on a Sunday morning is T4. When I get sent wedding invitations or any invitations for that matter they will have not even bothered putting me plus guest! Oh goodness I am getting myself all worked up!

I am not saying that there aren’t people that I can’t go on dates with or even have a bit of a cuddle and a kiss with but apart from that no-one seems to light my fire, no-one has given me that little bit extra. To be fair it’s been so long since I have had sparks with anyone that I am starting to forget what that feels like! Roll on fireworks night is all can say!

Boyfriends seem to get in the way at the moment, I am filming a new TV Show I am so busy with all my PR stuff and when it comes to the end of the day its nice to not to have to worry about anyone else but me. Its nice knowing you can invite your friends round to your own place and play silly board games, its nice that you can have a double bed to yourself and if you don’t want to have dinner you don’t have to, you can watch all the shite on TV that YOU like without having to share the remote and you can pick your nose, ear, whatever you want because there is no one around to see it! Talking of shite on TV though, please, please tell me that you saw that programme Guys and Dolls? I am still having nightmares about it now. Basically there are these grown men that live with ‘real dolls’ they are like a new and improved version of a blow up doll but are made of rubber. The features are so real, they have tongues, knees and elbow joints, insides and everything and these men live with them, sleep with them, dress them, take them out and treat them like real humans, at one point (without going into to much detail) but this man had a loo brush and he was ‘cleaning out one of his dolls’, I think its actually one of the weirdest things I have ever seen and I used to work for Big Brother so you can imagine!

I am an open minded person but please, they are dolls, these men talk to them and dress them (make up included) and treat them like real people. One man said it was better then not having any female company at all….. err hello, I know some girls are dull but at least they blink from time to time! Mind you I suppose they don’t argue back and play silly games like we all do – (no matter how much you protest ‘I hate playing games’ we all do or have at some point in our lives!) This is one of the reasons why single town is the place for me at the moment, I am sick of all the crap, it fries my brain.

There is only one time that I feel I need someone, when I’ve been out, had one (or seven to many) and on my way home and I feel like I’ve had a bit of a rubbish night. You’ve ended up talking to a load of randoms about a load of old tripe and you’re emotional. That’s when I tend to booty call an ex boyfriend or someone I have had a fling with and then regret it in the morning. The sick thing is no matter how drunk I am, I delete the evidence, what’s that about! So now on a Sunday I feel even worse because I know I’ve text something but I have no idea what it says!

So I have told Ellie and Sophie and any all of my friends for that matter ‘please do not let me use my phone after 11pm it’s bound to be trouble!’.

P.S I had a request from someone called Nicola who I met in Nu Bar the other night, she was lovely -Anyway she has asked me to point out that woven belts are soooo last year!

P.P.S Loving Rockys at the moment, finally a place where you can party without the pretentiousness! And Get Flash is wicked the last Thursday of every month at Faces!

P.P.P.S Hello Tricia, sorry I have been so rubbish at keeping in touch I will email you ASAP and fill you in and congratulations on finding your prince charming!

P.P.P.P.S Along with the success of the Essex Factor, Heather has set me another challenge, her idea, Battle of The DJ’s so make sure you all look out for it in the next few weeks its going to be brilliant and Heather? It’s all about Friday Club!

See you next time and I promise I won’t leave it so long!