The Loop Guide to Clubbing, Drinking, plus West Essex and East London living.

I don’t know if anyone remembers but ages ago I wrote a who article discussing – what happened to Corey Haim. Basically Corey Haim (out of the Lost Boys. Licence to Drive etc, sod it I will just attach a picture), was my first love. I had a poster on my wall, I watched his films over and over again and basically used to dream about one day meeting him and telling him I love him and that I want to be his wife. Well it just goes to show that if you wish hard enough, one day these things will happen. Yes that’s right I MET HIM , not only did I meet him I was actually with him (no not like that) but with him, working with him for two days , can you believe it! I still can’t quite but I bloody was. Basically I was doing some PR for an exhibition and he was one of the main guests. When I was told he was there I couldn’t even talk, at first I just walked past him like a nutter about 15 times trying to get the courage to go and talk to him it finally took a very persuasive friend (does anyone know Ces) to grab me and drag me over there where I proceeded to tell him that I have loved him forever, I kissed his poster every day that I actually wore the lips off and that I am his biggest fan (what a loser). I swear I am not really like that. I have met loads of famous people, I am not showing off but I have even been clubbing with David Beckham and been on holiday with half the cast of Eastenders, and never have I ever reacted in the manor that I did when I met Corey. I went bright red and could barely speak, he was so lovely, granted the years have not been that kind to him but I could still that that inner heartthrob in his eyes. He asked me if I ever did voodoo on his poster, as his lips are very sore? I could have come back with an extremely smutty comment but I kept my graciousness. I had to chat to him a lot and by the second day I was ok and I could actually look him in the eye, and although he didn’t look as good he used to he was a sweetie and didn’t ruin my expectations. It was madness of all the people eh? I never thought that working would actually be the highlight of my bank holiday weekend but it was, everything else besides that was pretty shit.

I don’t’ know what it is, (well I do it starts in m ends in n and has got e in the middle) but things start going ok and then you get the rug pulled from underneath you. I have made a pact to myself not to get to carried away with anyone new unless I am sure they feel the same, I am just not up for any more crap and I think it shows maybe people sense it I don’t know. Someone gave me some advice the other day ‘to love like you’ve never been hurt’ but it’s harder than it sounds. I am such a believer in trusting your gut feeling but that’s not so easy to do when you want the outcome to be so different. I think that being single makes you realise that everyone is going through the same thing I never noticed it before, but all people seem to want is to meet someone that they really like and that isn’t going to let them down – how hard can it be. Instead they keep meeting arrogant idiots who act as if they don’t have a care in the world and that they have got it totally sorted. Trust me though, their issues might seem like nothing and they may act brash conceited and overconfident when they are in fact that opposite. Anyone deprecating others in order to make themselves feel better will find it very hard to be happy and have a normal relationship, (and that goes with friends or partners) anyone like that unless they surround themselves with doormats, won’t ever be able to meet anyone remotely complex or a bit of a challenge, they are just to scared so feel sorry for them.

Not everyone is arrogant and I know lots of people that wouldn’t go near anyone they thought was full of themselves so why is it that people find it so hard to meet someone? Well in true Dr Phil style I decided to explore this question and I may have found the answer (well one theory at least). It seems that people tend to meet the same types and have the same sort of relationships most of the time, I for one know that if you merged my relationships into one they would all be the same. If you meet someone and there is every a hint of a slightly different characteristic that you’re not used to you automatically deject it (subconsciously). What we tend to do is pick out the familiar negatives in someone and we’re attracted to that. It’s almost like ‘better the devil you know’, but we do it subconsciously. Without going to deeply into it, it seems that you pick out the positive and negatives qualities of your parents and this determines what qualities you go for in your partner. For instance, if your parents don’t listen or put you down or aren’t very affectionate then the chances are you are going to meet someone with those same negative qualities, and you attract it. I have looked back on all my past relationships and it’s is spot on. I love my parents but there are certain traits in men that I let them get away with because that’s what I am used to, like not being very affectionate or saying things and then not actually doing them and I go for very controlling people all things my mum and dad do. Take a minute to think, it’s hard but you’ll be amazed how true it is.

This is all very well I hear you say, but what’s the answer, how do you break the chain? Well the fact is, if you really want to meet someone perfect and all the things you want then it’s you that has to change it’s you that has to break the cycle. Everything that you see as a negative, you have to do the opposite of. So, if you meet someone new start introducing this new concept, for example if you always got out with people that don’t listen or understand you, they go out of your way to really take an interest in them and listen, but mean it after a while if they’re not doing the same you will just get bored of them wittering on, at least you are taking the time out to recognise it. If your last boyfriend wasn’t very affectionate then make sure you are. It sounds easy but its not because you have to work on yourself a lot and until then you, you will be ready to attract the right kind of person so if your single and fed up then maybe it’s a thing to try. It’s not a case of ‘why are there so many arseholes out there’? It’s a matter or how do I stop being one of those arseholes? For every relationship we’ve been upset by, we have done the same to someone else. So start with one thing you can change which is you that’s what I say. Agreed, its not going to change the world but it might breed some better people out of West Essex, and lets face it seeing as we don’t seem to venture very much further it’s a good place to start!

So from an extremely philosophical Miss Essex and The City until next time, were I would have worked so hard on my negative qualities that I will be happy and madly in love I will chat then!

Lots of Love (see its working already!)

P.S There is no sign of smitten, I think she’s got the hint.

P.P.S Its all about 197! And anyone that feels the need to be nasty about my pad, (especially the losers that slag it off yet STILL live at home with mum and dads) can piss off! It is V exclusive after party venue, for PRIVILEGED people. Also there is a rumour that there will be a 198 in Epping that will also follow the same rule so you won’t be going there either! Love it!

P.P.S I am loving the Essex Factor at 195 how funny is it!

x x